


Bed of Roses

by Ella_Imagines



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hanahaki Disease, Rating May Change, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-01-07 14:40:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18412703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ella_Imagines/pseuds/Ella_Imagines
Summary: You never imagined that falling for someone who just saw you as a sister would bring you anything else than the usual heartbreak... now here you were, dying from it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s a new series, I know I shouldn’t start another one when I have so many already... but I couldn’t help myself, I have little to no self control... and when I got the idea of the hanahaki disease, my god, I just needed an angsty piece for it with my babe. 
> 
> Anyways, a big thank you to @julietheree for encouraging the ideas in this story and pushing me to write this in the span of two days; and a super special thank you to @fandomofallthingsawsome who not only revised this whole chapter (making it much more clearer and better than I ever could) and just being great. Anyways, hope you all enjoy!

The scent of roses used to remind you of quiet summer days, walking around the park, the faint but sweet perfume your grandma wore which made you especially happy.

Now everything smelt like roses. The scent didn’t leave you for a moment, growing stronger and more nauseating each passing day… you wished it would end now, that you yourself could reach deep into your lungs and tear those pesky flowers out. 

But you couldn’t.

Staring into the almost complete flower sitting at the bottom of the sink, covered in blood, your blood, some of it still lingering in your mouth along with some petals, you heard the clock from your office tick and tock, almost as if mocking you reminding you time was a privilege now. Picking up the flower while swallowing the remaining blood and petals, you wondered how something so beautiful, something that you had always admired so quietly was now killing you… how exactly had you gotten to this point in life?

 

_ “I’m telling you, doc, it’s really nothing. I’ve been under a lot of stress lately and I’m pretty sure I breathed a lot of one of the toxic gases from last week’s explosion.” You assured with a shaky smile at the dark haired specialist wearing a lab coat.  _

_ “That’s bullshit and you know it. You were coughing blood and petals; in copious amounts may I add.” Tony grumbled at your side, standing behind the chair he was supposed to be sitting in and gripping the edge of the backrest tightly.  _

_ “That’s crazy, Tony…” you sighed, trying to shake away the rising concern that Tony saw what you had. Maybe this was a case of collective hysteria?  _

_ “I’m not hysterical, it was not collective hysteria. How would that even work if it’s just the two of us?” the man asked. You cursed yourself, knowing you had probably voiced your last thoughts and with him being so close, he easily heard you. He was staring at you with confusion before shaking his head. “That’s not important. Look, you just admitted you saw it, now be honest and tell the doctor the whole symptoms so we can cure you and we can move on from this.” _

_ “I already went to the doctor when this started and that’s what they told me!”, you cried indignantly. “They said that, unless I had eaten flowers, there was no way I could be spitting them out. They made a bunch of tests and everything came out fine. There’s nothing wrong with me, it’s just stress and me hallucinating things. The end.”  _

_ “Like hell.” He scoffs in exasperation, “I just saw it, how do you explain that one, huh? What those doctors told you was shit; they don’t deal with this kind of thing and they were bound to brush you off sooner or later. Now we’re here in front of a specialist who specializes in these “cases” and you want to insist what we both saw wasn’t real? C’mon, Y/N you’re smarter than that.”  _

_ You shifted uncomfortably at his words. You really didn’t want to talk about this, because how would you explain it without seeming completely crazy? You still remembered the look on the other doctor’s face when you had gathered enough courage to get an appointment and explain what had been happening. You considered yourself lucky they had let you walk out of there with only a prescription for some medicine and not with a straightjacket. _

_ “Excuse me if I seem rude, but… Miss L/N?” the kind doctor softly asked and you fixated your gaze on her.  _

_ “Yes?” _

_ “Do you… do you have romantic feelings for someone?” She asked after a moment of hesitation and you found yourself stunned by this question.  _

_ “I don’t… I don’t understand… I-I…H-How is this relevant in any way?” you stuttered out, feeling a hot blush rise to your cheeks. _

_ “Yes, she does love someone. What with it?” Tony answered, ignoring your embarrassed stuttering.  _

_ “Is that love… corresponded?” the doctor tried to be gentle with the topic, you could tell. But even with the softness and caution, you couldn’t help the wince you made.  _

_ “Well… not exactly. He loves her like a sister, but not romantically” your billionaire friend answered for you again, making you turn to look at him in surprise.  _

_ “How do you…?” you started asking before shutting up as Tony rolled his eyes in an exaggerated way.  _

_ “Y/N, you’re not exactly discreet in the love department. You’re always looking at him with this dreamy look and sighing and you never shut up about how perfect he is, so no, it’s not that hard to guess” he tells you with a bit of exasperation in his voice, but probably seeing how dejected those words made you feel, he sighed and then said with a calmer, softer voice “It’s really a shame he is the only one oblivious to it, but I’m sure that won’t last forever, kiddo.”  _

_ “What does my pathetic, obvious and unrequited love have to with any of this, doctor?” you had asked, staring at the ground, trying to change the topic.  _

_ “Have you heard the old myth of hanahaki disease?” _

 

You hadn’t. It was an old legend, believed to be part of tragic fiction pieces on ancient stories mainly from Japan, but the lore and stories with it could be found in all of Eastern Asia… no one in this modern day and time believed it to be true, since they weren’t any clear recorded medical cases. It was all just fiction. However, the symptoms matched and, being skeptical, you agreed to have your lungs checked.

You still had the x-rays showing a rose plant embedded deep within your lungs and you still remembered how desperate you were for having it removed.

 

_ “Okay, I have a fucking plant growing inside of me. No biggie. Okay… we have technology; we have top notch equipment right here, so… take it out.” Your voice sounded shaky as you smiled and looked away from the x-rays, since they freaked you out more with every second you stared at them.  _

_ “That’s not quite as easy as it sounds, Miss L/N” the doctor said with wince. You almost jumped at her to start demanding to get the fucking plant that had somehow gotten inside of your fucking lungs out of you, but Tony beat you to it.  _

_ “What the fuck do you mean?” he slammed his hands on her desk to emphasize his point. “We identified the problem, we can solve it. That thing is growing with each passing second and it will kill her! They’re at the bottom of her lungs and she’s already choking on blood and petals.”  _

_ “Mr. Stark is not that easy. Look, see this lines here?” she pointed at x-rays from upfront, more specifically, at the bottom of your lungs were some thin lines were visible; then pointed at the picture from the side and showed you how those lines got all the way back to where you supposed your spinal cord was, letting a shiver run through you. “These are the roots of the flower. They have grown to reach Miss L/N’s nerves… if we were to remove them now, she would face severe consequences in her nervous system.”  _

_ “What consequences?” you asked boldly, but you really, really didn’t want to know. Truth be told, you just wanted to go back to your apartment and bury in your bed, maybe eat some ice cream and forget this ever happened.  _

_ “I can’t say anything for sure now. There’s no record of this, so at this point, it’s just guessing on my part. It’s really-” she started excusing herself, and you knew that wasn’t a good sign.  _

_ “Doctor Cho, you’re a specialist geneticist, you literally made a living being from scratch. You know your shit. Now please, tell us what the consequences are.” Tony’s voice was firm as he interrupted the woman. _

_ The kind doctor sighed before answering, “I’m at least 95% sure that if the plant is removed now, Miss L/N will lose her sense of touch. She will still be able to move and control her body, but not feel it.” She started explaining, not daring to look either of you in the eyes, “If the flowers keep growing, so will the roots and I can’t tell where they will grow from here, but I can tell that the longer we wait, the more dire the consequences will be.”  _

_ “Well then, that settles it. How much time do you need to get the operating room ready?” Tony asked resolutely, but you placed a hand on top of his, stopping him.  _

_ “What will happen if… if I don’t do the surgery?” your voice was now positively shaking and Dr. Cho looked up at you with pity in her eyes.  _

_ “What the fuck? Are you insane? Of course you’re doing the surgery, Y/N!” he turned at you, raging at the option you just presented. You tried to calm him down by squeezing his hand tighter… it only made him shut up, but not calm down. It was enough to let you nod at the doctor, asking for your answer.  _

_ “Well, aside from the obvious continuous and increasing choking on the flowers… the roots will either grow upwards and possibly reach your brain, in which case you will be beyond saving… or they can grow downwards, towards your hips and thus disabling you to walk again. You’re at an early stage, so I must strongly recommend for you to do the procedure as soon as possible.” She said while interlacing her hands together. You could feel Tony being ready to demand you stop wasting time and just say yes to the surgery, but you started talking before he had the chance.  _

_ “In those stories and tragedies you mentioned, the ones from Eastern Asia… was there a way to cure it? Or did they all die once they had it?” you questioned softly, leaning a little further away from your seat.  _

_ “Uh… well, I can only remember one way they were cured” she hesitantly confessed before squirming in her seat for a bit. You waited a second until she looked up at you again and nodded your head for her to continue. “Your beloved must return your romantic feelings… and I mean, he must be in love with you just like you’re with him, a strong friendship will not suffice”  _

_ “Oh… just that”  _

_ “Y/N, we can’t take the chance here. The risk is too high and we don’t even know if making Steve fall for you will make a difference, maybe it’s not exactly like the disease from those books.” Your friend tries to convince you to see reason but you softly shake your head, feeling tears welling up in your eyes.  _

_ “Tony, I have to take that chance… I don’t want to live like a prisoner of my own body! Never feeling the softness of my covers, or the freshness of clean clothes or even the pain from mission injuries… that’s not life. I can’t risk that… I prefer trying to make Steve fall for me or… or die trying.” Your voice was as firm as it could be with the news that you basically had a terminal disease.  _

_ “Y/N, no… You can’t do this.” He turned your seat so you were facing him “We don’t know how much time you have left! If those flowers don’t end up choking you to death, the roots very well might! I know it must be hard to picture yourself without something you’ve had all your life, but we…” he took your hand in his and squeezed tight before continuing, “Bruce, Dr. Cho and I will think of something and return that to you, eventually. But you need the surgery, now”  _

_ “Tony… it’s my decision. I say no. I don’t want this surgery, please respect that” You managed to get out the words filled with emotion as you stared into his glossy eyes. You knew this must be really hard for Tony, because you were like the little sister he never had and in turn, he was like the brother you always wanted… and he didn’t want to lose you, just as much as you didn’t want to die. But the prospect of a life the way Dr. Cho was implying… it was even more terrifying to you than death, somehow.  _

_ “Y/N…” _

_ “Promise me, Tony, that if it ever comes down to it and you have to take the decision, you will let me die in peace. I don’t want that surgery; I don’t want to live the rest of my life without being able to feel the world around me.”  _

_ “Y/N…” he sighs now, shoulders slumping, but you grip his hand tighter.  _

_ “Promise me, Anthony Edward Stark” _

_ “…I promise” _

 

And thus, here you were, three months later and looking dead, even in your eyes. The bags under your eyes were visible more now than ever (it was difficult to have a good night's rest when not only could you not breathe right, but you also have to get up every few hours to cough your guts out), your skin had long since lost its color just as your hair lost its shine, and slowly, you were also losing your will to live. 

Honestly, you had lasted longer than what you thought you would… and you were still going to work like a champ. Putting yourself out there, spending as much time with Steve as you could, flirting with him to the best of your ability, but it all seemed to be in vain. You were getting worse and at an increasingly rapid pace. It was rare now to spit petals instead of full flowers,  and it honestly hurt like hell to pass a whole freaking flower through your throat a couple of times each and every day. It was getting harder and harder to breathe at times, not to mention the constant stench of fresh picked roses that you now loathed. 

Sighing, you resolved that you were doing the best that you could and even if you failed, you would go, knowing that you gave it your best and maybe that would be enough. So you washed away the blood from the sink, threw the bloodied flower into the trash bin and washed your mouth for good measure, along with your face. 

Once that was done, you left the office bathroom and returned to do paperwork for the latest mission the Avengers had. It was boring, but with your current physical state you couldn’t do more… you dreaded to think that the moment you died you would not only be alone, but also surrounded by unfinished paperwork. Now that would be a nightmare. 

“Hey Y/N!” a chirpy voice made your head turn up so fast you wondered how it was possible you didn’t pull a muscle. “How you doing in the administrative department today?”, Steve’s velvet voice made a pleasant shiver ran down your spine. Oh, you were so disgustingly in love with him. 

“Boring. You know same old, same old.” You shrugged casually, turning your eyes down at your desk and discreetly checking for any blood stains that you may have missed while in the bathroom. 

“Well, it won’t be for long, right? Just until you get better from that pulled muscle” he said with a lighthearted chuckle and you nodded silently, feeling guilty for lying to him… then again, you would feel even worse if you told him about the current situation. “Anyways, I came to tell you that- wait, is that roses I smell?” 

You could feel your heart beating wildly after that sentence, along with a cold sweat, some vague nausea and the feeling at the base of your throat that another flower was ready to be coughed. 

“Y-Yeah” you stuttered in a shaky voice, before clearing your throat firmly. “Yes, it is. It’s a new perfume. I’m… glad you noticed it” 

“Noticed it? Y/N, you smell like you yourself are a flower. Maybe you should tone it a bit down with the perfume… but it smells really good. What brand is it? Maybe I can give one to Sharon” he smiles at you and you have to fight the urge to start coughing, because you can swear the flower at the base of your throat just got bigger. 

“I-I don’t remember the brand, but I’ll make sure to send you a text as soon as I get home.” You promise, hoping that will end the Sharon topic, and for good measure, you start a new conversation “So what were you going to tell me just now?” 

“Hmm?” he wondered for a bit before lighting up with a smile “Oh, yeah! I can’t make it to our movie night tonight. Sharon invited me to go dancing and… well, it’s her only night off. You understand, right Y/N? I promise I’ll make it up to you” he asks, giving you the puppy dog eyes and you smile, trying to hide the pain behind it. 

“Of course; don’t worry about me, we can reschedule anytime”

No sooner had you finished the sentence and he was all over you, hugging you tightly before kissing your cheek softly, sweetly and running away with something similar to “Thanks Y/N, you’re the best!”; just to be gone the next second.

You lasted five whole seconds before you started coughing up again. This time, the flower was at the back of your mouth and it wouldn’t come out, no matter how much you coughed. So, feeling like the air was starting to run thin, you opened your mouth and reached for the flower, pulling softly in fear of moving the whole plant underneath. Soon enough, you were holding a pure white rose stained in crimson blood along with its stem and even some fucking green leaves. 

“How in the hell are you even growing, little guy?” you wondered in a quiet  murmur “There’s no sun inside of me to keep you alive… much like I don’t have any sun of my own”

You sigh and twirl the flower in your fingers, wondering if now would be a good time to hand in your resignation and get back to your home to die peacefully, or at the very least, comfortably… because even though you had hope,  you weren’t a fool. 

Sharon and Steve weren’t dating, at least not officially… so he was fair game and your flirting was not out of line or badly received- But you knew that wouldn’t last long. They would get together sooner or later and you’d die from choking or having a plant getting inside your brain. 

Good thing Tony still thought you had a chance… or he would’ve found a way to make the surgery you so desperately needed happen.


	2. Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re learning to accept your reality and embrace the silver linings of your situation... but there’s still some hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I expected to finish this a little earlier but whatever, ITS STILL TWO UPDATES IN THE SAME WEEK, HOW CRAZY IS THAT? It’s been YEARS since I published this much and it feels super weird. Anyways, all good things must come with a price and this one has the price of my grammar. Yeah, no beta has checked this or safe read this, it’s going out to the world directly from me (which may suck for you, since I’m not great at some expressions, but hah, it’s 2 in the morning and I’m well past caring). 
> 
> Either way, awful grammar or not, I hope you all enjoy this chapter and the angst.

 

If one thing had to be remembered about you, you would choose for it to be your positivism and creativity.

You tried so hard against all odds to always look on the bright side of things; even the worst tragedies could have a good outcome, however minimal. People called you foolish and disrespectful whenever you shared this. Eventually, you understood that sometimes people needed to feel pain and wallow in it to get over it, the why was always lost to you… but it was a truth you learned to live with. The fact that you were most surely going to die soon didn’t change that fact.

True, you had been feeling hopeless for months, looking like the incarnation of death to a lot of your coworkers and you hadn’t cared. You had started to understand why your grandmother had stopped growing roses when your grandfather died, started to understand why your friends hated your optimism about life going on when some relative had died, understand why your optimism was not appropriate when a life was ending.

But that all changed with a simple idea.

* * *

 

_Your apartment stunk of roses and you hated it, because you never got used to the smell of death disguised as perfume. However, your elderly neighbor Ms. Liu, quite like you, didn’t understand it and complimented you every time she saw you._

_“It’s so calming and relaxing, dear! You must have an excellent green thumb for it to smell like a garden!” She had said with a gentle smile, making her wrinkles even more notorious. “But you must be overworking yourself with that garden, you look so pale! Why don’t you make some tea with those roses, dear?”_

_It seemed like a silly idea, maybe even a disgusting one… but your boss had insisted on giving you at least two days off to go to the doctor, not suspecting that you already knew what was wrong, and there were far too many flowers lying around because the trash didn’t run until the next day. You figured there wasn’t anything you had to lose, so you washed three of the oldest flowers from your blood and placed them on boiling water._

_The smell was suddenly stronger and you had the urge to throw up, cursing yourself for ever entertaining such an idea… and then you breathed in again, wary of the smell, but instead of the sickly smell of freshly picked roses, the steam on the air seemed much more calming and almost odorless. For the first time in months, you breathed in and didn’t smell roses._

_You almost cried that night._

_The next morning, your neighbor told you how amazing she had slept with the smell of rose tea and you shared the sentiment, feeling the most at peace you had in months. The fear of dying, of ceasing to exist, somehow being thrown to the back of your mind along with all the regrets that surged with each passing day; all thanks to the steam of rose tea._

_“Excuse me if I seem rude, dear, but would you mind sharing some of that delicious tea? It’s been a while since I had some rose tea.” She had asked shyly, almost ashamed of asking you such a thing._

_Your last day off was spent with her, in her beautiful red department and her teaching you to cook baozi while you chatted amicably. All was normal for a moment and you almost felt like those days where your grandmother quietly listened to you while she prepared tea; until Ms. Liu took a sip from her lovely fine china cup._

_For you, it was like just drinking almost boiling water. It didn’t taste like nothing, but it gave you peace… however, Ms. Liu was now silently crying and you panicked._

_“Ms. Liu, are you alright? Do you feel any pain?! Should I call someone?!”, frantically you got closer to her, almost begging for an answer._

_“C-calm down, my dear”, she said, holding your trembling hand. “I-I was just reminded of my late wife… she never quite liked flowers like I do, but since we couldn’t express our love freely on those days, we used to take care of her parents’ garden and exchange messages with those flowers. I don’t know why I am reminded of those days where we felt trapped, those doubts and the horrible sadness…”_

_You felt horrible guilt eating you up. Because of you, this sweet woman had relived horrible memories of her past. You were a horrible person thinking that this thing would be harmless._

_“Oh, dear, don’t look so sad”, she smiled before taking another sip, “Your tea reminded me of those awful years, but it also reminded me of my beloved. If I close my eyes, it’s almost like I could see her… I miss her so much and your tea has reminded me of her like nothing else. Thank you, dear.”_

* * *

 

Even though she reassured you countless times that the tea was perfect and had been an amazing gift, you were still wary about making more… but the peace it brought you was like no other. You reasoned that, as long as it was for you, no harm was being done, plus you deserved that peace in your final moments, didn’t you?

But the conviction didn’t last long since Ms. Liu insisted and almost begged for you to share more of the tea and it broke your heart to deny it.   
Then, at work, people were suddenly attracted every time you opened up your thermos and they too begged for a little sip. You learned quickly that crying was normal. The sip brought them memories of their loved ones, be it sad or happy memories depended on the person. Everyone had different comments on it: _“It reminds me of my childhood, when I went to play with my pets and my mom”, “It tastes like the cake of my wedding day, it was disgusting, but my husband loved it and I didn’t have the heart to tell him I hated vanilla”, “It’s like my first kiss, when I was 15”, “It’s like the wet soil from my father’s grave”, “It feels like the night my brother took off to Ireland”_ ; good or bad, everyone came back for more and you could swear you heard more than one contacting the one they thought about immediately after tasting it.

 _This is the silver lining_ , you thought to yourself as you saw Linda silently wiping away her tears as she excitedly told her brother all about her children and how he should meet them soon.

You were about to die, and there was nothing to be done about that, but at the very least, you had done some good with your disease.

“I’ve been told that this department had the best drinks in the whole tower. Do you know anything about that?” a deep silky voice asked you from behind.

You could feel a shiver run down your spine in what could either be excitement or anxiety, while at the same time; your heart skipped a beat just to start thumping furiously a second after.

“S-Steve!” you jumped backwards, stumbling with your words and losing your balance. He was there immediately to catch you, making your lungs feel lighter almost like smelling your tea. You were blushing like crazy, that was a given.

“Hey, Y/N” he greeted with that smile that made your knees go weak. Lucky for you, you were already leaning against your desk. “How are you doing?”

“I-I’m fine, everything’s fine!” you exclaimed with a wide smile and you wanted to face palm yourself, what was wrong with you? Maybe the last few weeks of abstinence from him were doing a number on you and you forgot how to act around the love of your life.

“I’m glad to hear that” his smile softened as he went to caress your cheek ever so softly.   
You wanted to sigh and melt into his touch forever, and even when you tried to think logically, to desperately hold on to reason, your mind wasn’t cooperating; instead, your mind was soaking up the attention like an affection starved puppy.   
You were doomed.

“Yeah…” you stupidly answer with what must be the dopiest, goofiest smile on earth. Dignity is a foreign concept in this moment and you don’t care.

“So, how’s that pulled muscle going, huh?” he asked a little more serious taking his hand away and, almost exactly like a puppy, you wanted to follow that hand… but you didn’t, because you were still somewhat conscious of where you are.   
Unfortunately, you weren’t at all conscious of what he said or how to make words.

“Huh?”

“Oh, Y/n, I’ve missed your absent mind” he laughed softly and you smiled again, because his laugh is so warm and beautiful and fuck, you’re so screwed.   
He suddenly pulled you closer to his chest in a tight hug and you were sure like you could die in peace at that moment; but instead of dying, your whole body feels more alive than it ever has in months. It feels like a fresh breath of air after having been suffocated for an eternity and you hold tighter to him, because nothing has ever felt so right in your entire existence.

But of course, all had to come to an end.

Or, in your case, come crashing down **spectacularly.**

“Steve!” a soft, feminine and perfect voice sounded from somewhere behind you and Steve releases you as soon as he hears it, almost pushing you away and, confused beyond belief, you let him go.

“Sharon, hey!” he said with more excitement than he’s ever greeted you with. He hugs her tight for a second and you’re still trying to understand how you went from being in the best moment of your life to feeling the coldest and loneliest of your life. “Doll, I was just asking my friend Y/n about those rumors we heard”.

 _Doll, huh?_ He never called **_you_** that…

“Oh, I asked around too and I’m glad to tell you that your friend is the answer to all the rumors” she said with a giggle that you could swear was quite fake. But then again, your judgement was clouded by the everlasting confusion and the growing anger at this feminine fairy that just interrupted your moment… and who was still being by Steve in a half hug.

“Is she?” he asked, turning to you with softest, happiest smile that you had ever seen.  It made you both want to melt and to die at the same time.

“Yeah! Everyone here says her rose tea is the best in the whole world!” she exclaimed and you wondered if she ever got tired of being so excited for everything. “Y/n, would you mind sharing some with us?”

You wanted to refuse, you wanted to scream at her that of fucking course not, she had no right to your heart, to the feeling of your heartbreak; you wanted to take your thermos and run the hell out of dodge, because it wasn’t fair, this whole situation wasn’t fair at all… but most of all, you didn’t want to know what her reaction, her loved one would be… much less did you want to know the one from Steve. You were just making amends with dying because of this and being happy that this disease brought some good amongst the bad… you didn’t need it to be the metaphorical straw that broke the camel’s back.

“Please, doll, we would love to taste some of your tea” Steve almost pleaded and the second he had opened his mouth, you knew you were doomed… now, though, you knew you were about to seal your coffin.

Feeling the air starting to run out from you, your breath becoming more difficult with each passing second; you turned around and took your thermos with shaking hands then silently guided them to the mini kitchen in the office. Offering each a cup, you were trying to hold down your urge to cough and the tears.

You served them your tea, not daring to make eye contact and regretting every decision that ever led you to this point.

They both blew on it a bit and simultaneously took a sip. You held your breath and braced for impact.

“ _Oh…_ ” Steve’s response was quiet and stunned, awed.

“Oh… oh wow… oh my god, that’s… that’s just… wow” Sharon said and stumbled over her words loudly before turning to look at you and touching your shoulder. You looked up at her in surprise. “This is better than what they all told me… this is an amazing beverage. You’re amazing” You tried to force out a smile, but suddenly she was crying and Steve was by her side, holding her. “Oh gosh, I’m sorry… it’s just that it reminded me to our first date and it makes me feel so happy and so melancholic and…” she rambles on, but you stop listening.

_She truly loves him._

_She truly **, actually** , loves him. _

You had no real proof, but there was no more doubt.

“I… I must agree with Sharon here” Steve said after a moment of giving Sharon a tissue to wipe her tears “Your rose tea is… amazing, to say the least. It’s so delicious and sweet without adding any sugar and I didn’t know that was possible!” he gently laughed and you noticed the way his shone because of the unshed tears.

 _Here it comes._ You thought, wanting to close your eyes, but being unable to; being hypnotized by his lovely and intense stare. He opened his mouth to speak and you almost believe he’s going to say something related to you and for a moment, the flower that’s been itching and growing at your throat seems to stop in anticipation as well.

“F-for me it tasted l-like…” he stuttered out before blushing heavily and your heart stops in anticipation… then, he stopped staring at you and looked back at Sharon. He looked back at you for a second before returning to Sharon and you could swear you were going to die if he didn’t finish this horrible suspense soon…

“Yes, Steve?” the blonde prompted sweetly, effectively gaining all of his attention and your heart sunk.

“It tasted like the champagne from our first date, remember it? The one that you dropped on the waiter” he said with a wide smile and Sharon laughs with joy before hugging him tightly.

“Of course I remember!” she said in between laughs before separating a bit from Steve and looking intensely into his eyes.

And that’s when you had enough.

You ran. You ran like hell while your vision became blurry and your whole body felt weaker. You were coughing but still running and suddenly, you found yourself on the office bathroom.

You locked yourself in and took a breath… just to realize it was impossible to breathe through a whole flower, maybe two or three, in the back of your throat.

Desperately, you reached back and pulled with all your might. They didn’t come out. You pulled again as black spots started to cloud your vision, and they came out, just not complete. The stem, you could still feel it at the back of your throat almost taunting you as spit out three whole bloodied flowers.

Deciding you couldn’t take them out; you let a broken sob finally leave you. And then another and another until you were full on crying.

You didn’t want to die.

You stupidly still had hoped… but how could you have hope after what you just saw? You were faithful and optimistic, not dumb.

_You didn’t want to die._

You believed, honestly believed, Steve could fall for you and this would all be a comedy one day you would tell your kids and they would laugh and scoff saying it couldn’t be true.

**You didn’t want to _die_.**

You had been a fool. A fool in love… maybe there still was time for the surgery? Maybe losing the sense of touch wasn’t all that bad… and from what you had read, taking the flowers out usually got rid of the feelings too.

_You weren’t going to die._

But… but that wouldn’t be life, now would it? You had said it before and you knew that touch was too essential in your life for you to just lose it… plus, there might be other side effects now that so much time has passed.  
That was not a life worth living.

You were going to die.

Well… at least, some good had come. Everyone in the office who had tasted your tea was suddenly super close to their families and they were happier… and, even if it hurt to admit, you also brought a pair that loved each other together… so that was okay.   
You always wanted to make the world a better place and maybe this was on a smaller scale than what you had originally planned, but that’s fine… you changed at least some people’s worlds and that was more than many other could say.

_You were going to die… **and you were**_ **fine _with it._**

So, you smiled a broken smile and lifted your head, ready to wipe away your tears and go back to work like nothing had happened when you looked at your reflection.

You were absolutely covered in blood. Your whole face was smudged in blood and your chin was almost dripping with it.

You figured it was all from the messy roses and started to wash your face with the lovely white towel there was to dry your hands and that you would definitely need to wash. However, as you were lightly tapping you cheeks with the slightly damp towel, you noticed that the blood kept flowing… and it wasn’t coming out of your mouth.

Gasping, you dropped the towel in shock and saw a single, crimson drop fall from your left eye.

You were crying blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this, please leave some kudos and consider leaving a comment, I love to read them!   
> Remember you can find me on tumblr at @ellaimagines


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